So, somebody told me that you can earn tons of money for letting a trainee surgeon remove and reattach one of your toes. I would so totally do that. I mean, what, at most, you lose a toe, right? Who needs a fucking toe. Imagine how popular you would be at parties if you were like "so... yeah I'm missing a toe." You could make up totally cool stories about how you lost it. A polar bear ate it. Piranhas. Chuck Norris. My homework ate it. All sorts of crazy shit.
Unfortunately, my extensive trawling of the internet (read: two garbled search terms on Google before I gave up and searched 'camel toe' instead, because yes, I really am that immature) turned up nothing. I think I might just wander into Southampton general, whack my leg up on the counter of the ER, and yell "TAKE THE FUCKING TOE AND GIVE ME THE MONEY, BITCH."
I bet I'd get a nice free holiday on the mental ward. I hear they serve delicious tapioca pudding up there.
I hate tapioca. It's like baby puke with rice in. Blegh.
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