"Oh man, I just shot Marvin in the face."

Ok people, we have a lot of ground to cover here so please, try to keep up.

First on the agenda: Laughing at Scientology.

Disclaimer: I do not care if you think this is discrimination. I believe Marmite is nice; I believe Snakes On A Plane is a brilliant film; I believe boots and a dress is a viable fashion choice. You are free to laugh at these beliefs. I am free to laugh at the religious equivalent of a terrible 1950's sci-fi B-movie. Get over it.

So, if you don't have a great working knowledge of Scientology, this is a good place to start. Please at least skim the 'summary' section of this Wikipedia article, or what I'm saying won't make much sense. Not that I can guarantee it will make any sense having read the article, but it might help.

Now, I am not even going to start on Tom Cruise - except to say, if I had humiliated myself that badly on national television, I would honestly go and live out the rest of my life in a hole. On fire. Watching that must have been even more painful for Katie Holmes than giving birth IN SILENCE.

Moving on.

Right. If you've read the summary on the Xenu page, you should be with me on this.
Even as a science fiction script... it's a big steaming plate of poo. Plain and simple.

Ridiculously cliched names, a plane in space, the idea that the decor of modern cinemas harks back to some kind of racial memory of a giant screening room in which the first inhabitants of 'Teegeeack' (Earth, to the uninitiated) were shown a 3D film for 36 days which apparently made them into complete retards who couldn't distinguish between themselves and a thousand of themselves... and a plane in space. The artist's impression of which has the NASA logo on the back.

Sorry. No.

And also, this is only "Incident 2". "Incident 1" occurred, supposedly, four quadrillion years ago. This may not mean much until you consider that four quadrillion years is 300,000 times longer than current scientific thought holds the age of the universe to be.

Also, L Ron Hubbard was an alcoholic, and a drug addict. Would you devote your life to the indisctinct ramblings of such a person?

Zecharia Sitchin on acid would probably make more sense.


Second on the agenda: Life.

I know, I know. A broad net. But bear with me.

I was thinking the other day, it's strange how much tiny little things can affect your minute-to-minute perception of the world.


The fat bald guy in the football shirt who gives you the kind of look that makes you think "How dare you look at me like that, I'm somebody's little girl, somebody's childhood sweetheart" : shitty world.

A passer-by smiling at you and nodding towards the sky and saying "Lovely day, huh?" : wonderful world.

Two little girls dressed up like hookers, probably no older than twelve, sat on a bus stop bench, smoking : shitty world.

The dad in a shirt playing football with his two little daughters in the park : wonderful world.

Coming into your room while the house is empty and stopping dead and thinking "Fuck, something's missing" : shitty world.

Someone bringing you a DVD you lost because it was in your laptop when it got stolen : wonderful world.

A phone call and the words "Are you sitting down, I have some horrible news, I'm so sorry" : shitty world.

Waking up and the first thing you see is someone smiling at you : wonderful world.

Having someone to encourage you to paint and write even when you don't feel like it : wonderful world.

Hearing 'Raspberry Beret' on the radio : wonderful world.


I think you can see which one is winning over at the moment.

I was also thinking, whilst looking through all the saved messages on my phone, about all the things people do that are completely overlooked when people talk about the horrid things that happen in the world.

Do we even notice that people hold each others' hands? That people call just to say hello? That people give each other little cards for no reason, and buy each other little gifts on impulse? That people tell each other they love each other, every single day, just so they know? That people hug their friends when they say hello and when they say goodbye? That they have little nicknames for each other? That they say "You are lovely" or "You look so pretty today" or "I'm glad you are happy" or "You are my best friend" or "You matter"? That they sometimes look at each other at exactly the same time and laugh as if they just shared a thought about something funny?

Because all that stuff does happen. In among all the shootings and the insults and the mean little acts of spite, people are nice to each other for no particular reason, other than that they want to be.

And it's important. It's important that you do all those little things and that you tell the people you love, that you do love them, that they matter to you, that they are worth something. It may seem like you can tell them later. And maybe you will be able to. But please just do it now because you know what, you are never too young for it to be too late and if they don't know now, there is at least a chance that they never will.

So, to all those reading who do those little things for me - I love you. You matter. You are worth something.

Just thought you should know.