Oh my.

You know you're in for a good evening when you get home and your housemates are just about to watch some free-with-a-magazine type porn, involving "gothic lesbians and breast groping shenanigans in the kitchen".

"What is this? A party game?"
"Yeah. Pin the cock on the angel of vengeance."

"Foreplay is the distance from the door to the bed."

"Who would you rather have sex with; Chuck Norris, or Mr T?"

"I must say, there are a lot less shenanigans than I was led to expect."
"Dreadful."

"The fridge has spoken!"
"And the fridge apparently says... 'I heart midget vagine'. Nice."

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I was not physically able to make highly disturbing and inappropriate comments.