Right. This has gone on too long, and someone should probably have said something a long time ago. But they didn't, so now I guess I'm going to have to step up.
EVERYBODY HAS TO STOP WEARING SKINNY JEANS. NOW. I MEAN IT.
Seriously. Have you even THOUGHT about how fucking weird your legs look in those things? And if you have an ounce of extra fat on your posterior or your thighs, have you no self respect?! No I'm not saying you need to lose weight, I'm saying you need to wear clothes that don't make you look like a fucking Christmas turkey wrapped in cling film. I bet you have emo hair, too. You people make me fucking sick I swear to God.
Over and out.